Fred Guidi AHRMA National Off-Road Director

[admin]

Well any of you that are an AHRMA member obviously know who Fred Guidi is. He is AHRMA's National Off-Road director. Not only a very experienced racer but also a very talented manager to the AHRMA organization which I am a proud member of.
On the race track Fred is very serious and extremely competitive. Off the track he is one of my best friends in the world and one of the funniest guys you will ever meet. As with my friendship with Ken Smith I have a very similar relationship with "Freddie". Always can count on them for anything you need and always are there for them whenever and however you are needed. But..... "Freddie" unlike me likes to play practical jokes on his friends too.
If Fred is not teasing you or ranking on you then he does not like you.
Well last summer I had the great pleasure of heading down to West Virginia and attending the McKee's Ranch event as a spectator. Fred invited me to stay in his motorhome which I gladly accepted his generous offer. As Bob Whitman can attest to staying in Fred's motorhome can be a hazardous experience

While at the McKee Ranch event none other than Ken Smith joined us. So having both my friends there and both jokers was an event of it's own.
I think poor Ken took the blunt of the jabs that weekend but he can dish it back out to us soon.

In a couple months it looks like the continent of Australia might be moved into the Northern Hemisphere when Ed Chesnut, Fred Guidi and myself possibly travel to Classic Dirt 11. Having the three of us one one plane for that long a flight just does not seem possible. Although Ed is the more reserved one in the bunch I do have it on good notice he can let loose a little bit when needed!! When we land all they will say is "God save the Queen". OK wrong country but you get the point.

Where this rambling letter is going is that I was just made aware of my practical joker friend Fred Guidi's latest column in Vintage Views magazine as a part is seen below. Thank you to Dr. Matt Glascock for sending this to me...

So I encourage anyone wanting to order a part or if you have a question please by all means call me at 802-375-0212 at anytime of the night . I especially like calls at 2:00am EST
What Fred does not yet know is that when I leave work in the afternoons I put call forwarding on. I send all my calls to be forwarded to Fred's personal cell number. Not the number everyone has as his contact but rather that special number only friends and family have.
So please call!!
Thanks
Paul

[vmxken]

Is Australia ready for the Freddie, Eddie and Paulie show? Methinks not but we'll have a few tricks up our sleeve and I can guarantee that when they do return to the US they won't be the same Freddie, Eddie and Paulie. We'll see who gets the last laugh.

[admin]

And then there is the return trip from Oz to the U.S. at some point for "Kenny". Me thinks it will be an epic revival.
I am smiling all the way!!!!
Actually with the exception of Kenny, Australia is a fantastically beautiful country full of fantastic friendly people. I cannot wait to be back there again at Classic Dirt 11 with my friends.
I am smiling and laughing all day and night.Thank you I can use it and is good therapy!
Paul

[rough rider]

Paul, I read this a couple of days ago and I always enjoy reading Fred's adventures. I cracked up when he stated what time to call! Payback time... have fun. Richard

[admin]

Thanks Richard. We are leaving call forwarding on all weekend for Freddie. I can only imagine his response to the calls.
Have a great weekend
Paul

[Fred 900 Guidi]

Before I respond properly to Paul's rant, I must first thank him for the kind words, and to state that my service to AHRMA is a labor of Love.... Thank you Pauley, you know I love you..... You really are one of the best people I have ever met...!! However..... I must respond to certain inaccuracies....

first- Not since the movie "Deliverance" has there been more male bonding. Of course I refer to the trip that you and Whitman made with me to the ISDT Reunion ride. It started off well enough with Bob bringing 1" thick T-Bones to our cook out. Little did we know that he was buttering us up for his incessant nocturnal trips. I am not sure if it was the 5th or 6th trip to the bathroom, in the middle of the night, but I do recall you yelling at around 3:00AM, "If you get up one more time you &%$#, I am taking baling wire and zipties to your prostate" It went down hill from there......

SO yo can imagine my concern when you and Ken were shacking up with me at McKee's. Ken didn't get up once, but of course with the Bunnie Boiler lurking outside, I don't blame him.... Hell the only thing we would have found of him the next morning was his socks......

Second - Your comment about not playing jokes on anyone and that you are usually the victim of such vicious assaults left me speechless. Rather than itemize this mischaracterization as a simple circus of curiosity let me simply say that AHRMA has a fruits and nuts list. This ranges from guys who want to be scored while staying at home (but paying an entry) to former pros that would like to be moved back to Novice, to ancient "has beens" that would like for us to give them one of the year end awards for nothing more than placing last in the LCQ at a random national in 1972. I realized a short time ago that everyone on that list was introduced to me by you! In fact 60% of the calls I get about missing a national due to alien abduction starts off with, "Fred you don't know me, but I am a friend of Paul Stannard.......".

Thirdly - I know that was your helmet that was left in the bathhouse at Mid-Ohio 8 years ago..... you can deny it all you would like, but....heck whats the use...

And finally the trip with Ken is going to be frightening. My wife is already calling it "Brokeback Bathhurst" . She then remarked that no one takes a trip with us twice..... Hell Whitman disappeared for a while after that last little getaway.... I think it will be epic. Hopefully we will have enough bail money. Although I wonder how Pauley managed to stay off of the no fly list...... Last time I think you took 2 Viagra and demanded a patdown.

By the way, I have had three calls from guys wanting to buy Hodaka parts, one wanting to know what class an aging transvestite could ride in at Diamond Don's, and yet another wanting to know when you will be showing re-runs of Meangirls on the Hodaka site..... You can not make this stuff up.

Back to your calls....... And stay tuned to next Vintage Views when Pauley writes a guest article about his new sausage.

[Bullfrog]

Hmmmm, mayhaps there should be some serious re-thinking on the concept of traveling to Oz with Freddie and Paulie . . .

Captain Eddie

[vmxken]

Ah, my dear friend Eddie, I don't think you have too much to worry about with the concept of travelling abroad with Freddie and Paulie, but the brutal reality that would concern me somewhat.

[admin]

Just getting back from a short trip. As talented a person as Fred Guidi is there is a slight "dark side" to him. We have this figured out now and have all the ammunition needed for the flight to Oz and back again. Fred in addition to many other talents is an ordained minister. Now after reading his rant might think what church does Freddie go to ?? Yes he really and truly is an ordained minister and studied long and hard to reach such a position.
Sometimes a few of us joke that he just needs more fiber in his diet. Some us offer to help by offering bran flakes for breakfast. Others just walk away and shake their heads. Like Superman and Kryptonite Fred has "special needs" that enable him to get through the day. No medication can take the place of what is his true needs are.
Just as seen in the newly released commercial for snickers candy bars this is real life for Freddie.
Now most of you are of the age to remember the Brady Bunch TV show I assume? Just remember Freddie is actually Marcia! So when you see Freddie at the next race please refer to him as Marcia Marcia Marcia and offer a special gift of a snickers bar. I have ordered a case for the flight to Sydney for Freddie. On the way home we have Vegamite for him as per the recommendations of Dr. Ken Smith.
Dr. Glascock has offered to do the lobotomy on Freddie and has been successful 50% of the time on squirrels and one raccoon. Thank you Dr. Glascock!!

Remember please when you see him at an AHRMA national he likes to be called Marcia!!

[vmxken]

In a strange twist of fate and just when you thought this discussion couldn't get any weirder......Marcia Brady (Maureen McCormick) has just finished being plastered all over Aussie TV screens on the show 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here'. It finished last week and she made it through to the final (apparently, I didn't watch any of it, Marcia or no Marcia). But I did happen to read a quick interview with Marcia in a Sydney paper on the weekend and she talked about one of the hardest things she had to do on the show - wear clothes. She couldn't wait to get back home so she could revert to sleeping in the nude and walking around the house in the nude, which were seemingly her favourite things to do. So now you know.

[admin]

You are correct I did not think this discussion could get any weirder!!
Wait until Freddie see's what has been posted. Better get ready for Freddie:-)
Respectfully of course
Paul

[Fred 900 Guidi]

Gent's, gent's,

I am stunned.. Marcia? I actually thought Jan was the prettier, but then again I had a crush of Marie Osmond back in the day. But I digress.....

My wife said that I was actually rather reserved and introverted, before I met Paulie and the rest of the Hodaka/AHRMA gang. And Ken has added a new level of psychosis to this storied group. Thank the good Lord for the 5 years of seminary or there is no telling how unbalanced I would have become. In truth I could not be more blessed to count on you guys as friends. You are the best, and there are truly none better... There has never been a dull moment, and never a shortage of laughs... (Paul's Dirty Sanchez moment will remain one of the funniest thing I ever witnessed) In fact when you play these moments back they are just as funny.... Thank you guys, it will be an honor to travel with you..... This is not over.......lol

Fred

[RichardMott]

If I didn't know both of these guys, I would have thought this was all a bunch of nonsensical banter. But the last time I saw them both at the York Swap meet there were more sexual metaphors and innuendos then a one would encounter in an army tank or factory floor.
Yeah, I remember Junior high school. Heh heh! You guys are so much fun. Enjoy Aussieland. Don't they still have allegiance to the Queen down there?
Have a Tooie's beer for me. They don't drink Foster's. That's only for export.